IV. Love is Here and Now

“Love is a gift of one’s inner most soul to another so both can be whole.”  

                                                      Buddha

One morning after breakfast, Geosa offered to take Lady Seol on a tour of the grounds outside the temple. In the distance, the sound of a tambour could be heard, coming from the temple grounds, as part of the festivities for the lantern festival.  

That night, the lanterns would be lit. The temple's courtyard was already decorated for the occasion.

Lady Seol and Geosa walked thru wooded areas approaching a pool.

Someone was there, standing quietly by the edge.  It was King Gwangjong.  

A moment of indecision overtook Lady Seol. 

Fearing that she had intruded, she turned to leave. 

Geosa stopped her retreat, gesturing towards the King. When she hesitated his face grew impatient, and he pressed her to go forward and meet the King. 

She approached slowly and felt the King’s eyes on her. She came to a stop next to him, bowing to greet him. 

This wasn’t the first time she had met him alone. Their meetings together over the years had been few and far between. 

The King gave her a smile and said in a soft voice, “I can still remember the small girl who used to bump into me.” As he spoke, his eyes met hers for a minute and then he continued to look out towards the pool. 

Lady Seol watched the reflection of the pool’s still surface next to him in shared silence. 

The King’s words had triggered a memory. 

She was a child then and had felt especially bored, that day. She had wanted to visit the horses.  Her nanny wasn’t letting her run and play outside. 

She had told her to keep her new dress clean. 

The whole household was very busy preparing for visitors. The King was coming to meet with her Father.

She saw two soldiers enter the house, carrying a large chest into the meeting hall.

Her eyes had filled with excitement. Maybe the chest contained real treasure!  

She snuck into the meeting hall, as soon as they left.

But instead of finding treasure, she only found sheets of paper. Every sheet had a copy of the same poem in pretty hand-writing.   

She started feeling sad, inside the chest, no gems, no crown.

Maybe something to play with?  Then, she had spotted it!

At the bottom of the chest.A real arrow!

She was about to pull it out of the chest, when her Father’s voice rang outside the door. 

“Where is the chest?” 

Startled, she had looked around the room.

“The chest has been delivered to the meeting room, General”, a voice answered. 

She ran.

Scrambling, she hid inside the storage closet.

Another voice, “His Majesty has arrived!”  

Moments later the doors opened. 

Footsteps filled the room and a voice read out loud the poem that she had already seen.

When the water has run dry. 

Sit and watch the rising cloud.  *(1)

Her Father and the King spoke about many things she did not understand that night.

It had been warm inside the closet making her sleepy. Then, loud voices woke her up.  

The King and her Father were having a heated argument. 

She heard her name. 

They argued about keeping her safe. 

About wanting to honor her Mother, Hae Soo.

They seemed to have agreed to keep her away from the palace.  

Soon, the meeting between the King and her Father ended. 

Footsteps followed, and then doors opening and closing. 

The room became quiet. 

She had continued to listen. 

Her legs hurt from sitting so long in that cramped place. She’d looked thru the slight opening in the door and saw nothing. 

She opened the closet door slowly and crawled out.

A thousand stings on her legs made her want to cry.  Tears started to form but the fear of being found out had stopped her.

Quietly, she walked out of the meeting hall. 

Once outside, Seol slipped away from the house to hide in the woods behind the main house. Remembering the words exchanged between her Father and the King had made her heart feel scared.

She found an old tree that was perfect for climbing.  In it she wouldn’t have to hear people talk about things that upset her. 

She slowly climbed to the top of one of the branches. The air felt clean again on that tree, and the branch was solid and high enough to let her feel as if the world was far away. It made her lose track of time.

Down below, she could hear others calling her name. 

She didn’t want to come down. She knew that if she did, her Father would be upset and scold her. 

As it got dark, she began to feel hungry and cold.

She wished she had thought of bringing food.  

Looking down at the tree trunk she saw the shoes she had left behind on the ground. 

She hadn’t realized how high she climbed. Looking down now, she started feeling scared.  

She couldn’t hold her tears back anymore and started crying. 

The sound of a horse approaching, made her stop.  Her heart started beating faster. She couldn’t move.  

Someone was climbing to her branch. 

A man reached her and then sat next to her. 

He had her shoes tucked inside the sash of his shiny clothes.  He reached out his hand and held out her shoes to her, meeting her eyes and smiling.   

Carefully, she extended her hand to him and reached for her shoes. 

Seeing his face, she recognized him.  She had met him once before, when she visited her Mother at the palace on her death anniversary, with her Father.

“Are you the King?” she blurted out.

"I am the King.” He answered.

Seol looked at him and said with surprise, “How did you find me?”  

The King stopped for a minute, smiled again and said, “It was easy, I followed my heart.” 

That night, as they rode home on his horse, she sat in front of the King listening to him as he told her a story.  

His voice was deep and soft. He told her about a lonely King. 

The King could only meet his Queen at night, when the stars in Goryeo shone brightest.

During the day, the King missed his Queen very much. 

The Queen also missed the King. She brought down one of the Goryeo stars as a gift to comfort him and remember her.

The King treasured that star. 

But the King was afraid, because he knew, if his enemies found the star, it could be taken away from him. It would no longer shine for him and he would have nothing to remember his Queen. 

He decided to hide the star from everyone.  

It was a cloudless night.  Seoul’s eyes focused on the bright stars as she listened to the story.

When the King finished the story, Seoul felt wet drops falling on her hair. 

She looked up at the sky and tucked herself closer in. She didn’t want to get wet in the rain. 

That night, she decided she liked this King very much. She was glad he found her.

His soft voice lulled her and her eyes grew heavy.  The night was cold but the King’s arms where warm.  She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Now, Lady Seol turned to see that same King again. This time he stood next to her.  He seemed as far away as she had been.  

His thoughts took him somewhere else too.

“You must miss your Mother very much.” He said, breaking the silence, “She would feel proud of how well you’ve managed the Daebi-won.”

Her Mother had left an immense emptiness in her.  Being raised by her Father and his wife and her siblings had given her an anchor. Her life was not empty.  

Her Father Prince Jung had always been there. The solid presence in her life. 

She looked up at the pools reflection once more and remembered her earlier conversation with Geosa, and suddenly his words made sense.

There was no past, no present and no future. 

All she had was this moment and its connection to her Father and Mother’s love, before they were separated.  

She thought of herself as someone who carried the spirit and whispered love of a Mother she did not remember. 

Looking at all the parts in the scene in front of her coming together she understood at last. 

In the end, she was one with them once again. 

She would not focus on the three of them and how far they all were from each other. Instead, she would think about how close they remained despite that distance.

Lady Seol addressed him in a soft voice for the King’s ears alone, “A star, even one that shines alone, should still try to shine brightly.”  

The King looked at the sky first pausing for a moment and then said, “In the daytime the stars are still there, shinning, but the sun shines brighter hiding their light.” As he spoke, his hand extended to the sky as if uncovering the stars, she could not see by day.

Lady Seol’s eyes grew wide as he came closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and facing her. 

Meeting his eyes, she thought she could see there, the depth of his heart. She saw: love, concern, fear…

The King reached into his sleeve pulling out a hairpin. 

The pin was decorated with small delicate white jade peonies, and a butterfly. 

A small purple flower with green stems wrapped itself at the stem of the pin.  

He extended his hand and opened her palm gently, placing the pin in her hand.

He said to her, “The first time I met you, I knew who you were because you wore the pin I gave to your Mother. I want you to wear this so you will know and remember who you are”

Seol stood quietly looking at the pin.

She touched the small flowers outlining them with her finger. 

Placing the pin in her hair, she looked at him and gave him a small smile. The King’s eyes showed her everything she needed to know. She understood. Perhaps she always had. 

“A Prince stands by my side,” she took a breath and finished,” but I am a Princess because a King is my Father.”

The King nodded.

Saying it out loud had finally given her the courage she needed to add, “In the end, perhaps, the only thing that really matters is that we are of one heart.” 

Then, she did a most unsuitable thing for a subject. She embraced the King. 

They stayed together by the pond a while longer. Then, walked away back toward the wooded area and his horse…. The time had come once more to return to being Goryeo’s Monarch.

The King’s parting words still echoed in her mind, “I still miss your Mother. I see traces of her in you… especially in your smile.” 

Her heart felt dread at his next words, “There are those who would halt at nothing to stop the King.”

“Your Mother was my greatest strength…my greatest weakness.”

“As you are.” He paused, then continued, “Just as she has watched over us both, someday I hope to meet her again and be able to say to her, that I loved you. That I too, watched over you.”

As she walked away from the pool towards the temple gate Seol stopped and looked back, 

“Geosa, what is the name of that place?”

Geosa looked at the pool and said, “We call it the Pool of Reflection. It is named so because, it is meant to be a place that helps us reflect and find our true hearts.”